Oh there is nothing common about this one! I have not had a cold in so many years I started thinking other people must be making this shit up! Ha! Booking off work because they had a cold. NEVER!
I am now humbled and apologize for every bad thought I ever had against those people that called in sick with a cold. I have been living on just a few hours sleep for a week now due to this COLD.
Today was the ultimate horror when I left work early. I even had a friend recommend the spiced rum hot toddy. I did just that. Now I am waiting for it to kick in and realized it already did as I am on my 3’rd. I emailed my neighbor Jen. Here is how my email went… “Jen, as a neighbor and trusted friend I hereby give you permission to find a spade, preferably a heavy one and come over here and wack me in the head to put me out of my misery!!! I Have A Bad Cold!!! I haven’t had a cold in so many years I forgot how bad they can be and ultimately laugh at those who call in sick. I left work early today as I could not take it anymore! Forget that hero/martyr shit and work all in the same sentence. I am calling on my much deserved Sick Time! I have resorted to a hot toddy with lots of spiced rum. I want to be oblivious to the fact that I was just on my hands and knees in a sneezing marathon that would not stop. And yes I peed in my jeans while down there.”
I have not received an email back from Jen as she is probably on the floor peeing herself also, at the fact that I have humbled to even admitting this horror. I actually peed myself sneezing at the bus stop when I left work so at least I don’t have extra laundry to do. Same pee… same jeans! Then when I get home, a friend put this on my Face Book Timeline, Why you should never wash your jeans.
I do believe there are times when washing jeans are imminent! The same gal that sent me this little article was the same gal that gave me her two pairs of well loved, well worn, holey jeans for me to reinvent. I did so that it would make her proud. She is still a little jealous but I love my new jeans and will not give them back!
These were made from a pair of baggy men’s True Religion Jeans. I wanted a pair of comfy jeans I could live in on my days off work. One needs those familiar jeans to get into the rhythm of days off!
Getting back to the subject, if I tinkled in my jeans while having a sneezing attack, those babies would be in the washing machine so fast you would wonder who that was streaking naked down to the basement faster than a lightning bolt. There are times when you just need to wash your jeans!
Anyway the bottom line to this weeks post is, always wash your jeans if you pee in them! NO that isn’t it. The real bottom line is THE COMMON COLD SUCKS. I apologize to all those poor people I ridiculed when they went home early or called in sick because they had a cold. I now give you an award for even getting up to use the phone to call in. This post has taken me 2 days to write and I am ready to delete the whole thing as it is making me sick just writing about being sick. I am also here to tell you that I prefer not to take medications for colds but this one sure has me wondering about the sanity of that idea. I truly believe if you ride it out you will build up your immune system to a place where you can forget colds. Or almost, I have not had a cold in more years than I can count so maybe this little bug was just a warning that I am getting older and not as immune as I think I am.
To all you Common Cold Victims, I feel your pain and you now have my sympathies!
UPDATE!!! Remember to remove all tissues from your jean pockets before washing in the machine!